Special needs" are commonly defined by what a child can't do -- by milestones unmet, foods banned, activities avoided, experiences denied. These minuses hit families hard, and may make "special needs" seem like a tragic designation. Some parents will always mourn their child's lost potential, and many conditions become more troubling with time. Other families may find that their child's challenges make triumphs sweeter, and that weaknesses are often accompanied by amazing strengths
Developmental dealy issues are some of the most devestating for a family to deal with, changing visions of the future and providing immediate difficulties in caring for and educating a child. Diagnoses like autism, Down syndrome and intellectual impairment often cause children to be removed from the mainstream, and parents must be fierce advocates to make sure their children receive the services, therapy, schooling, and inclusion they need and deserve.
Children with behavioural issues don't respond to traditional discipline. With diagnoses like ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, Dysfunction of Sensory Integration, and Tourette Syndrome, they require specialized strategies that are tailored to their specific abilities and disabilities. If those strategies are not developed and used, kids with behavior issues throw their families into chaos and are seriously at risk for school problems. Their parents need to be flexible and creative.
Children with learning problems like dyslexia and Central Auditory Processing Disorder struggle with schoolwork regardless of their intellectual abilities. They require specialized learning strategies to meet their potential and avoid self-esteem problems and behavioral difficulties. Parents of learning-challenged kids need to be persistent both in working with their reluctant learners and with the schools that must provide the help these children need.
Common Concerns:Although every special-needs child is different and every family is unique, there are some common concerns that link parents of challenged kids, including getting appropriate care and accommodations; promoting acceptance in the extended family, school and community; planning for an uncertain future; and adjusting routines and expectations. Parents of children with special needs are often more flexible, compassionate, stubborn and resilient than other parents. They have to be.
observe your child
Something's just not right. You know it in your head, your heart, the pit of your stomach. Your child isn't developing like other kids. But you're afraid that giving a name to your fears and putting a label on your child will make things real that you'd love to believe are imaginary. How do you find the strength to move from suspicion to certainty? And even after a diagnosis is given, how can you accept that this is your child's fate? Seeking a diagnosis for a child is one of the hardest things that parents can do. It means putting aside dreams of one kind of life for your child and setting off down another path. But fear and denial don't help your child. Getting the proper diagnosis and treatment does.
Accept the reality
Your child is still your child. The things you love about him or her remain the same. There were still be moments of joy and calm and general family life. You may learn to treasure those more. Every kind of special need brings with it its own particular stresses and tragedies and struggles and frustrations, but rarely is it every minute of every day, every bit of your child's being. Your child is still your child. And this is just part of life.
Labels are not the enemies.
None of us likes to think of our precious child to get labelled. Labels can seem scary or limiting, defining our loved one by their dis- and not their ability. But a label can also help you to get services for your child, therapy, i the right school placement, tolerance for behaviors, understanding and support. A label is just another tool for getting your child the help he or she needs.
You are not alone.
Every child is different. Kids develop at their own pace, they respond uniquely to therapies or medications or treatments, they follow their own path. Don't assume that because you've heard sad stories about children like yours, your family's story will be sad, too. And don't assume that because one thing doesn't work, nothing will. Your child is a unique individual, and although a diagnosis may provide a useful template, it's not the whole picture.
There's always hope.
Life for people with disabilities has improved enormously over the last century, and there's no reason to believe that progress won't continue. Medical breakthroughs are made every day. New therapies are constantly being developed. Different educational techniques bring undreamed of results. Tests are becoming more sensitive and medications more targeted. And sometimes love and a strong will can perform miracles. Time to get to work.
Focus on today . Not tommorrow
"Will my child ever have a normal life? What will the future bring? How do we prepare for that?" These are questions that plague parents of children with special needs. And they're not bad questions -- our kids need us to plan for their future and do everything to make sure that they will be safe and secure and cared for.
But it's too easy to slip into a mode of worrying constantly about the future while missing an opportunity to really love and appreciate our kids where they are, right now, right in front of us.
Consider these five reasons why a future focus isn't always clearest:
Children change. And sometimes they don't change in just the way we predict. Sometimes they develop faster than we expected, becoming stronger and more functional than we'd ever thought possible. Sometimes they fall short of those expectations.Making plans short-term instead of long- gives you the flexibility to fit them to your actual child.
Treatments change. Things that seem impossible now may be commonplace in a matter of years. A prognosis that's hopeless now may become hopeful.New medications come out every day, and one may make all the difference for your child.
Now counts:Putting your child in school situations that are comfortable for him or her now, focusing therapy on things that will make their immediate lives easier, tailoring behavioral strategies to keeping things calm and stress-free, spending lots of close and loving and fun time together, appreciating your kids right where they're at -- all of these things can bring big improvements in your family's life and your child's happiness in the short term, and that can incidentally pave the way for a more secure future as well.
potty training
Children with special needs can be notoriously difficult to toilet train, for a host of reasons ranging from medical conditions to developmental delays to sensory insensitivity to stubborn temperament.The world is full of opinions on when children should be trained. If you are pushing the potty and your child is resisting, ask yourself if you’re doing this because you truly believe he or she is ready, or because your mother/mother-in-law/sibling/co-worker/daycare is nagging at you.
Medical factors
If your child seems unable to control his or her bladder, consider that there may be a medical reason. Talk to your pediatrician and rule out any physical causes before undertaking a toilet training program.
Developmental factors
If your child’s development is delayed in other areas, there’s no reason to expect it won’t be delayed here, too. Consider your child’s developmental age rather than his or her chronological age in deciding whether the time is right to train.
Sensory factors
Children with sensory integration problems or low muscle tone may legitimately be unable to sense when they need to go. They may not sense when their diaper is wet or be at all bothered by it. Motor planning issues may make it hard for them to figure out what needs to be done and do it in a timely fashion.
Temperamental factors
Children who find even small transitions and conflicts to be stressful may see the challenge of toilet training as overwhelming. This can bring about a cycle of tantruming and explosive behavior. It may not be worth bringing that on if there are other more important issues to be addressed.
Emotional factors
Some children may find toilets intimidating, and the loss of something that comes out of their bodies frightening. The intensity of their parents' desire for them to achieve this milestone may also cause alarm.
Before you decide to pick this particular fight, keep in mind the above factors. Ho.pe this information is helpful to you
